From what I figure, I’ve spent approximately 13,507 days compulsively overeating. I’ve never thought of it in terms of days like this, but perhaps that’s because I am in my 17th day of abstinence, so numbers seem very important and relative right now.
I find it so oddly comforting to now meaure my life in minutes and hours, taking it one day at a time rather than in relation to “tomorrow” or “next Monday” which were the times I promised to stop overeating and binging.
Everything is so foreign to me now, so uncomfortable. I’m a three ring circus of emotion. Happiness and enlightenment coupled with regret for every bad food or life choice that I’ve made, fear of failure, anger at not being able to eat like normal people do, sadness at saying goodbye to my binges and trigger foods.
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